Category: Uncategorized
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I’m sitting on our “brown couch” facing the garden room— the room with double glass doors that look out to our wooded front yard. I love my garden room. But many of the plants that my mother gifted to me when we moved a year ago have sadly died. Apparently, I have no talent for…
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“All done hospital.” “All done hurt.” “All done blood.” “All done.” Isaac made it home, and these were his words. I think I understand: he never wants to go back. The night he left, an army of emergency personal had marched into our home at 2am. They headed to the basement where a battle was…
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I sat in an old bus, bumping along winding roads in the Dominican Republic with my contemporary dance company. We had been touring various island countries performing at countless venues for nearly three weeks. We were exhausted and elated. It was a thrilling experience to share our hearts and connect with throngs of people through…
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There are memories that creep up on me. Potent memories—the kind that are etched in vivid color—that pull me, sometimes rather unexpectedly, into a past reality for a time. ~There is this memory I have of, after a long run, taking baby Isaac into the shower with me. I would lift his squirmy little self…
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My three younger children and I sped along in an Uber with a delightful older woman wearing mismatched socks and a messy bun. Sunglasses perched at the top of her forehead and were framed by a mess of skewampus curls. “My sister has autism” she volunteered when I mentioned that my oldest was autistic and…
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Isaac and I sat at the kitchen table at my parent’s home in Texas. For the second time, I handed Isaac the red snakeskin leather photo album with the words “Isaac is going to Texas and then moving to a new home” written in black ink on an index card which I had slipped in…
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Happy moments together always stir something deep within me. These times of togetherness are few and far between as the complexities of Isaac’s schedule, differing interests, food aversions, and sensory sensitivities make even the most simple familial moments hard to come by. Autism has caused division in our family. When the full family is present,…
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We recently took a trip to Philadelphia with Brian. It was just Brian, myself and Isaac. After driving 12 hours, we landed in the heart of the city. It is always a challenge to travel with Isaac. It is a challenge to try and control the environment enough to mitigate potential overwhelm—the noises, the smells,…
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About a year ago, our boy began experiencing intense bouts of dysregulation climaxing in extreme, irrational violence toward himself and others attempting to keep him safe. Even though we had consulted with medical professionals and behavioral professionals, we were not offered the information, guidance, or tools we needed to deal with the extreme rage and…
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Yesterday I was sitting with Isaac on squishy seats in the spacious YMCA lobby. Isaac enjoys sitting there, and through the glass wall separating the lobby area from the large pool, he loves watching people swim. On this particular day, he was working on a “paint-by-sticker” page on his clipboard in addition to people watching.…